Self Occupation

“Who am I?”

That’s a question a lot of people, including Jason Bourne, ask themselves. Who am I? It never really crossed my mind, because I knew who I was. I didn’t need to tease my brain on such an irrelevant question. Why wonder on who you are if you can BE you.

But lately a slight shift is occurring. Not that I’m in search of myself. I don’t feel lost or anything, I just wonder on something that is very close connected to the one-million-dollar-question of who I am, our any other person for that matter: Am I the person as I see myself or am I the person as others see me?

Just think about it.

Every individual is closely connected to its surroundings. You perceive the world but the world perceives you too. If you consider yourself a listener and thinker but others think of you as a shy person –who of the two are you?

You know why you do things, say things, go places or why not – at least most of the times- but others might have a very different explanation. Sometimes their explanation turns out to be wrong, but sometimes it bares more truth in it then you like to admit. The people surrounding you can function as a mirror that reflects more of you then any tangible mirror can.

We all create our own reality in our head. Kurt Vonnegut wrote in his Mother Night; ‘We are what we pretend to be’. But there came a warning with this remark. ‘We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.’

The media is a perfect platform of ‘pretending’ and ‘becoming’. Social Media for example enables us to exhibit ourselves as we like to be perceived. Facebook, twitter, and even a blog on WordPress construct an (picture perfect) image of ourselves. And the media in themselves like to create certain images of the world and the people living in it. Movie stars for example.

Was Marilyn Monroe the woman as the world saw her projected by and through the media or was she as she saw herself? (Having it that Marilyn Monroe is a pseudonym makes this question perhaps even more difficult or more graspable). The answer might be something in between. You might be who you pretend to be and in doing so as what you project on others, you might be who you think you are or who others think you are. Maybe it’s more a fluctuating process: one moment you are the listener but the next you are the shy one.

I am not the person I ‘pretend’ to be on the web or to the outside world. I am more than that and less. It is a side of me, a small part, and at the same time it might be all. It’s a mask but it is also my own mask and therefore it is me.

Nevertheless, there is no fulfilling answer to the question posted.

Who am I?

Maybe you can tell me?

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2 thoughts on “Self Occupation

  1. I agree….We think we are somebody, we are sure we are somehow…And then, somebody comes and show us a thorn we do not recognize (at the beginning) as part of ourshelves..May be we just show a different face to different people in different situations…May be there are people able to look inside us with more accuracy than we are able to…Why? Because they are more intelligent, more sensitive? Not only…..Sometimes because they are more generous, more patient, more tolerant…

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